If you're just joining us, I keep a quote book.
It is filled almost exclusively with quotes that would embarrass the speaker of said quotes, and/or that sound completely inappropriate out of context.
In other word's it's hilarious, especially if you know me.
So, I'm way late in posting this, but here it is anyway. Enjoy.
"And then we kill them both!" - Zac
"I can't bring my kids to that." - Dump
"The internet's a hell of a place." - Shane
"I feel like being vulgar right now. '****.' Done." - Britt
"Ahhhh, I have to poop! I shouldn't have had that Diet Coke!" - Zac
"I saw it on Pinterest. Sorry." - Zac
"Everyone loves Hero D*ck." - Anonymous
"It would be hilarious if all of the sudden you became awesome." - Zac
"So are you and Kori still married?" - Shane
"Dude I have a soft spot for girls wearing white pants." - Dump
"I'm so f**kin' smart. GOD I'm so smart!" - Zac
"I hope he didn't taste THAT rainbow." - Ben
"Can you guys imagine what things would be like if they were different?" - Zac
"Do you stretch at all?" - Jenn
"I want you to puncture a kidney!" - Pre-Marital Pastoral Advice.
"I don't wanna be a mommy, I just want to have just a husband. I want to do whatever I want and go to whatever restaurant I want!" - Elena
I know what "Save the Bell" is! - Leah Welch
"I don't ever remember being bad on bass." - Dump
"Sometimes I get really excited about going to sleep just so I can wake up and drink coffee." - Josh Shaffer
"How many poppyseeds do you have to eat before you fail a drug test?" - Derrak
"I would make a badass chick, man." - Zac
"You can't use my band name as a sex position." - Benz
"What's the Patriot Act? Is that an attack on the president?" - Kori
"Well, they didn't come out with Windows 95 until 1995" - Matt Furlong, channeling Crob.
If any of these offended you, lighten up. Life's too short!