I wanted to really like this book. I really did.
The motive I think behind the writing of the book, was good and well-intentioned.
The target audience was women who think they are undate-able and terrible.
They need to be encouraged that they can find love, and don't deserve to be mistreated.
I have no problem with a book that attempts to do that.
The problem is this: I would venture a guess that less than a third of the women who champion this book, need to live by it.
The rest of the women have taken away from this book the following:
1. All women are absolutely perfect.
2. As such, they deserve similar levels of perfection in all areas from man.
3. The instant a man makes ANY mistake at all, DUMP him, because you obviously deserve much better.
Some of the problems described are worth leaving over. He's married. He's abusive. He's an alcoholic.
Others are ridiculous. So he called on Tuesday instead of Monday. He's perfect in EVERY other way. And yet, for this one faux pas, he should be thrown away like garbage.
I don't want to sound condescending or anything, but Men are not the only gender that have shortcomings.
Women aren't perfect either. I know, shocking and controversial commentary. But it must be said.
Are women amazing? Often. Witty, Intelligent, Beautiful? Yep, Yep, Yep. Completely disarming with only a smile? All the time.
But without ANY flaws? Nope. No one is.
There's this concept called Grace. It's really swell. It's actually a big component of Love.
But not according to this book. There is room for grace. Strict one-strike policies on ALL shortcomings.
It's very discouraging to think that a whole generation of women found this book informative enough to make it a #1 best seller.
Try this maxim:
"He's just not completely flawless, whether or not he is that into you; And to be fair, you're not perfect either."
Love is about loving and putting another person first and overlooking their shortcomings.
One decent book says "Love keeps no record of wrongs." It's a best-seller too.
This is one rare instance where the movie was, in fact, WAY better than the book.