"If I get a girlfriend, I would love her more than this [Applebees]." - Crob"I'm wearing boots and a spur." - Zac "Peace with God is a special f***ing request." - Dante "She's not just hot, her spirit is hot." - Drew Allen, on Kim Walker. "Crob gets what Crob wants, except when it comes to women... or money... or Apple products... aw, *#%! my life sucks..." - Crob "Well if he's gonna do that, I'll just do it for him myself..." - Ruth "My bellybutton smells like butt. does that ever happen to you?" - Zac "You like snakes? That's hot." - Matt "It's like I have someone stuck in my mouth." - Cassie Come back Crob, I'm fully extended! - Patrick "I could hook up with any girl in the world right now except Keyla, and it wouldn't be worth it." - Zac Oh, by the way, I've used 'foreplay' a couple of times. - Damien "You can call our marriage a lot of things: hot maybe, crazy, unstable, but never boring..." - Matt "I'm so glad I have awesome taste in music!" - Santos "I'm a linguistic" -Crob "Words are the key to lyrics." - Zac "Gosh! I don't even know what my heaven-beer would be!" - Hannah "I don't like stupid and predictable jokes... what is the antonym for 'wit'?" - Noah "Hot Spanish women are hot." - Shane "You live and you learn, and you go home and *ahem* alone." - Drew
Crob: I think I want a beer Zac: a what? Crob: a flavored lemonade.
The serious ones:
"Don't. lose. f**king. hope." "Keeping promises you make to yourself is a key to living the life you always talk about living" - Drew Allen "The world's all about money now; it used to be all about love." - 8 year old at Disney "A lifetime of honor is built one wise decision at a time." - Drew Allen "If they would call themselves Christ-likes instead of Christians, maybe it would remind them to act like Jesus." - Bill Maher
The anonymous ones (consider yourself warned):
"God gave us rhythm in our penises." (Ed. Note: This is not me. Promise.) "I learned the "C" word when I was 7." "I would kill that long-haired bastard... he does have really nice hair, I'll admit." "Don't hit that fat ****" "Baller... balling... balls." "Jesus, please forgive me. I'm not drunk." "I've never really wanted to have anal sex because... i figure it would probably hurt." "You guys wanna hear the cutest thing? ... f**k you guys!" "I have a really great imagination, which by the way is how I can *ahem* without looking at *ahem*." "I just have to ask: what is 'c***blocking?'" "I don't think animals enjoy anal sex." "So, I'm a woman, I don't have a prostate... so , I don't know what you're stimulating, but it's not my prostate."