I know, it's terribly late. But it's too great to NOT publish. So here it is. Names have changed (on some) to protect the guilty.
Some objectionable content may occur, but I tried to censor where I could.
"If you called Jesus and he put you on hold, you would hear Ricky Kendall music while you wait." - Zac
"He fell and busted his butt... did I just say the 'A' word a little bit ago?" - Dump Truck
"Nothing happened, but the last conversation I had with him, I had to look up words on Urban Dictionary!" - Nicole
"You don't put a loofa in your butthole!" - Johnelly
"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing." - Ron Swanson
"Did he REALLY die? That Apple guy?" - Dump Truck
"It was as close to a penis as I've ever seen a prophecy." - Zac
"Sadness is so d*mn gay. I hate it so much and how stupid it is. I'm happy, man. F**k that." - Matt Green
"That is an attractive behemoth of a woman." - Anonymous
"It's awesome to fart at McDonalds, because no one can tell." - Dump Truck
"Didn't he write 'The Witch, the Lion, and the Werewolf'?" - Kori, on CS Lewis.
"I really wish they'd make an anime of Jesus going to hell and beating Satan's ass, DragonballZ style." - Zac
"I propose partaking in palatable provisions pre (or post) la película Prometheus." - Leah
"Wordpress, I'm gonna make you hard." - Eric, on site security.
"I love it when you talk savings to me." - Kori
"I need to find my sanity. I'm gonna go put shorts on." - Shaffer
"I honestly had a little bit of a self-esteem boost when I started flossing." - Shane
"In space, no one can hear you moan." - Shane
"I don't think this crowd is ready for what I'm about to do to my guitar in front of them." - Zac
"Dude, I love my Instagram pictures, man." - Dump Truck
"Why hasn't my urine quote ever made your quote book?" - Bwade
What is YOUR nominee for the BEST quote of 2012? Let me know.